I find it interesting when a weekend is filled with similar situations all with the potential same results. I have seen on more than one occasion when someone is made to wait or left guessing as to what to think in a relationship. I hate to watch people go through this stuff because unknown factors are the hardest to work with. I get it if people are uncertain about getting into a relationship with someone else. I am not saying don't look before you leap, always be sure even a little of what your doing but please make sure you look at the person you are making wait for you, see that you could ever hurting them unintentionally. But most of all please understand everyday you are not sure is another day and another chance for someone to take your place with them. Sure you could argue that if it's meant to be it will happen, however there are windows of opportunity and they don't stay open forever. So if you are unsure for a long time the other person can easily think you are not interested and shut down the hope for being with you. Think about what could happen, how would you feel if you had to see them with someone else and let that be your guide. My advice is done for the night I hope I helped even a little!!
0 Comments
We all have those moments when it's a huge learning experience for us, I had one of those ahhh haaa moments yesterday. I saw my ex husband yesterday only truth be told I didn't recognize him at all. I couldn't figure out how it's possible to be married to someone for 11 years and not be able to pick them out of a lineup if I had to. I now reflect on that wondering if throughout our marriage how much I missed being angry and worried about everything. I never said I was a perfect spouse we all have our faults. When things were bad did he look different and I didn't notice because I couldn't see him past my anger or hurt. Now that the hurt is gone and so is the anger perhaps the veil is lifted and I can see clearly now. I am now going to make it a point to try to step back when things happen and see the big picture. My significant other could be hurting to and I don't want to be wrapped up in my own stuff to not notice them. After deep thought on this and recognizing where I went wrong I know more now than ever when and if I am ever in a relationship again I will be a much better partner. I am just happy to know the pain and anger are gone and I am at peace. I wish him well in his life, I always have. I am excited looking to the future as a blank canvas waiting for my newest adventures to continue to reveal themselves to me. XOXO Life bring on the magic!
We all have those moments when you meet someone and they are amazing and make your world calm and safe. He shows genuine effort right away and you hope he never changes, then he does. The good morning beautiful fades to good morning then to mornin and then to nothing. He no longer cares if your having a good day or if you miss him. You wish he would see you as the woman he would text things that made you giggle like when you were younger but he won't. Maybe at some point he will want to show you genuine interest again or maybe not. Guys honestly this is what hurts us the most, you do all this stuff to make us fall then we become just another girl. Yes we hate it that we are just like everyone else when at the beginning we were these amazing beautiful creatures to treasure. Being just another girl hurts a little more like lemon juice in an open wound because we come crashing down from our special pedestal that you put us on. Sometimes the small things that you do mean more to us and stick with us longer than you could ever imagine, a kiss in the rain or just how you look at her can cut through any walls she might have had up before you faster than you think. Say what you mean and don't stop doing what you did to make us pick you and I believe that would help eliminate a lot of mistrust and insecurity in relationships going forward. Just food for thought on a late Tuesday rainy night.. XOXO LIFE bring on the magic and all the good stuff!!
I know I talk about relationships a lot but what I want to touch base on right now are my kids. They are the greatest gift I have ever received in my life. I was given my angels and the gift of time with them. I divorced their dad in 2011 for not only myself but for them as well. They deserved to see us happy and we were not. He walked away and got remarried which gave me a larger gift of time with them. While he was romancing her I was teaching my oldest son to drive. While he was up north fishing with her I saw my youngest son hit his first home run. While he was out on a date with her I saw my youngest daughter stick a landing in gymnastics that she had been working on. While he was trying to grow his family with her I witnessed my oldest girl teach herself to play piano. Yes the gift of time is amazing and I love it. For a while I was upset because I didn't understand how it was fair he got to fall in love and have a life all the while I wasn't looking at it right. I was the one with the life, I was the one in the best spot not him. I have the gift of time with my children, granted it's not easy to do it alone and some days I wish for help but we make it work as a team. Looking at it now I feel bad for him because all he has is her and I have them. I have never said he can't have time with them so don't get it twisted, it was his choice to do all that. So yes I hustle hard everyday busting my butt to make an amazing life for my kids future. I am OK being single for now because whoever comes into my life now or in the future will also get the gift of time and that I don't take lightly because you can't get time back. Presents you can take back to a store but presence lasts forever. Memories can't be made if you are not there.... XOXO life keep bringing on the great stuff and thank you SO much for the gifts I have already received I am one seriously lucky mama!!
Consistency is a must for a single mom, we need to be reassured that someone is in it for the right reasons and not just when it's good for them. As I sit at yet another baseball game watching my son and his dad isn't here yet again. I over heard another single mom say the same thing, it's a heartbreaking statement we have to make far to often. " I'm sorry baby but your dad isn't here" I hate saying that and yes I wish I had someone who was consistent in my life when this happens, someone who will choose to be there and cheer them on and show them that a man should be there wither the child is theirs or not. Growing up my dad was around it was something I took for granted now I know what a true gift it was! It's better for me to be alone then to have someone half in it. My kids don't need a dad but they do deserve a consistent and positive male role model to help shape their futures. I worry about my girls being OK with a man in their life only being there when it's good for them continuing the cycle their father has started. To any man who would like to be part of my life, we are a package deal if you can't handle that don't waste my time. I want a partner for myself to grow old with, and someone who knows that they will be getting the best of me not just the rest of me.
She would have fought for you but it wasn't enough. She wanted you for you, perfectly imperfect as you are. She waited for you for a while hoping you would miss her enough to say you miss her too. She didn't want or need labels she only wanted you to want only her but you wouldn't. Until one day it was enough it was time to dust herself off and time to stop waiting for you. She held her head high and put one foot in front of the other ready for whatever life was going to throw at her. Maybe the next time you see her she will look different. Maybe one day you will wake up and realize other women are not her no one will give you what she would have, freedom to be your true self. Maybe one day you will have to fight for her the way she would have fought for you. I just hope you take the chance before someone else does... Opportunities don't last forever, she might love you but she has to love herself too.
XOXO life bring on the amazing magic, I hope we all wish at 11:11 and it comes true!!! Life is about options, we have choices for everything from what we eat to what we do for a living. Choices are everywhere, again I have had some clarity to which I hope will help others. If you have to choose between 2 women, choose her. I don't want to be a what if or a regret. I know my worth and what I bring to others, if someone can compare to me please choose her. I don't want to be an option to anyone or a backup plan. I deserve to be the only woman in someone's life. If someone has a choice to make and she can't compare to me then there is no choice. I am going to be an amazing partner for someone someday I am not in a hurry for anything however I also deserve to be the only one you want to wake up next to. Distance or anything else that may come up is a workable thing as long as the truth is out there. If someone wants me please say so, don't make me guess because even if my heart hurts from missing you so much I can and will walk away if you don't ask me to wait for you. I don't mind waiting if I know the wait is worth it. Xoxo life bring on the great stuff and magical moments that will last a lifetime!
Moments of clarity and self discovery are amazing, tonight I had one of those moments. I was driving trying to figure out why someone would do the pop in pop out of my life thing especially after a lengthy time. Why would I allow it to happen is a better question. The answer came to me that I am afraid to be forgotten by people, men I care deeply about. Why would I have to fight for them to notice me and why would I ask for their time when they should be the ones seeking my time. I know what I bring to the table and I know that I am not demanding, I want time and energy given freely to me because they want to not because someone feels they have to. It is time for me to step back and look at the big picture, if someone wants me in their life I should not have to fight for a spot no matter the capacity. I know I am not the only one who feels like this so I truly hope this will help someone else. In it to win it XOXO life bring on the great stuff!!!
Dear men,
I have heard a lot of you guys talking saying you don't know what women want. I can speak only for the independent women out there. Women at a certain point in their life would like the following
3. Someone who doesn't need to be in our face 24/7 4. Someone who wants to talk to us about more than their unit 5. Someone with motivation 6. Someone who will compliment our lives not complicate it 7. Someone who will want to take care of us not control us 8. Consistency 9. Great conversation 10. Someone who will want us to be ourselves without fear of us going anywhere. The truth is once women have gotten to a place in her life she doesn't need you she wants you. She can do it all but honestly doesn't want to. Independent women forget how to let people help them sometimes. She doesn't need flowers all the time but they are nice. She doesn't need to see you all the time. She wants someone to be in her life to take the edge off the bad days and to celebrate the good ones. Think about that the next time you meet an independent woman guys, she is not going to be easy but she sure will be worth it. Simple is good and no pressure is better, don't make assumptions about her and if she gets excited about you don't run away because it could have been a long time since someone made her feel alive like you do. Xoxo life bring on the good stuff! It was my fault when I couldn't resist falling for you. It was my fault that I let you in. It was my fault when you said I was beautiful I believed it. You said I was worth the effort and I deserve the best, you were right... It was my fault for a long time I didn't think much of myself, you helped me see it. Maybe it was my fault you never knew how I felt about you because I was to scared to say it to you for fear I would lose you, funny that I lost you anyhow.. Much like the Phoenix I have rose from the fire and become the person I was supposed to be, truth be told I don't want to fly alone. I wish I could have been stronger but everything happens for a reason and we all have our own journeys to take. I hope you know to me you will always be perfectly imperfect and right or wrong I compare everyone I meet to you, they are not you and that is the part that hurts the most. Its my fault I fell for you and you chose someone and it hurt me. Time has passed and I hope you know all I want is for you to be happy with or without me by your side.
XOXO life bring on the good stuff, I've earned it! |
AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
Categories |