Sidenote- This does not mean you can stalk people because you like them, that rule will never change no matter how much lotion you put on the skin ;)
I often have conversations with people that inspire me in ways that people often don't even know about. Last night I was chatting with some friends and they were talking about when things happen sometimes you can write it off as things happen but sometimes you have to really really want it. I think that mindset stands true with many things in life. When it comes to business you have to want it, really really want it to make it work the way you want it to. Be willing to put in the hours and sacrifice time and social life to make things happen. If you really want something to happen you don't look at it like it is giving something up but rather focusing on your goals that are bigger than the noise going on around you. I am not saying balls to the wall no fun ever, I am saying work life balance is typically heavier weighted with work than life when you really really want things to happen. I think that could also apply to love as well. Things are never perfect there is always a variable that is a challenge. What you need to decide is how bad do you want it and is this a potential end game life goal. Not talking about what to order at Taco Bell after bar close here, this is a bit more life changing. If you meet someone or have an opportunity presented to you that is when you need to look at it and decide what you want in life. Sometimes the opportunities show up to challenge us and sometimes they show up to remind us that we need to figure some stuff out. I am getting a lot better about seeing end game things and going after it when the opportunity arises, it is not easy and often times scares the hell out of me in the process. But as they say you can't grow if you are comfortable. Not every opportunity will work out, sometimes you just learn but no matter what you grow and advance as a person when you challenge your comfort level when you ask yourself how bad you really want something to happen.
Sidenote- This does not mean you can stalk people because you like them, that rule will never change no matter how much lotion you put on the skin ;)
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There comes a point in our lives when we have to take a step back and reflect on the events that lead us good bad or otherwise to where we are today. I have been doing a ton of thinking on relationships and why people have affairs or cheat if you will. Now I know the first reaction is to blame the person who your significant other cheated with but the truth is you can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. Think about it this way when you make a meal and everyone sits at the table you have a choice at that moment to eat or not right? I know that this subject is bigger than that but lets just frame it as a metaphor shall we... When I was married my ex wasn't exactly the most loyal husband out of the gate and to be totally honest when he would have a side chick it was almost a relief to me. He was nicer to me when he had someone on the side, he was attentive and caring especially when he would get caught and have to end it. I won't begin to analyze his motive for it because it is water under the bridge. What I will say is that when the shoe was on the other foot he was not a fan of it, yes I am not perfect I had feelings for someone at the end of our marriage as well. I learned from my mistake and no I didn't sleep with anyone, I for lack of better terms woke up. I had a gut check from the universe that my life was NOT going in the direction I wanted and I needed change and save myself from drowning. I get that affairs happen for a reason and I have yet to hear anyone say well gosh I was walking down the street and suddenly BOOM I was hooked up with someone. Everything happens for a reason... Now from affairs, side chicks or what ever you want to call them you can either fix it or walk away. If it is time to walk away it is not easy and you will perhaps question if it was the right thing to do, but in some cases you can fix it. Now if you choose to fix it this is the hard part, because you need to be willing to erase the past and move forward. If you can't do that and you know you will torture the other person for the rest of their life think about what kind of a life that is because you now have a prisoner who at some point will try to make a jail break. On the flip side you also need to remember we are human and I am sure people will hate me for saying this but you can't choose the timing for finding the right person. Life just like love has a funny way of throwing curve balls at you and I have seen this one a few times. Lots of people say that if you have an affair that the relationship will never work, that's crap, again life is full of curve balls and I have seen it workout long term too. The safest thing I can think of is if you want to cheat proof your relationship as much as you can don't stop trying even after you have the person in your life. Keep dating, keep flirting, keep trying. Don't lose yourself trying to impress someone all the time, news flash they were attracted to you as who you are in the first place. Life happens and it gets messy I know this all to well but if you have each others backs and never give up like our grandparents did maybe just maybe life would be a little easier!!
** I know I probably pissed off a few people writing this but seriously think about what I said, try a new perspective and see if you can look past the pain and heal a bit. XOXO Life bring on the magic of all the great stuff!!! I find that sometimes it helps me a ton to just write things out so here it goes. If you like someone say something, if you miss them say something. I wonder how many moments are missed because someone was afraid to say something. How can we live life if we are afraid? I got the best advice from one of my best friends the other day, he told me to stop hurting myself because I was afraid to get my heart broke. It's all life lessons he explained, so stop being afraid of what could go wrong and put it out there to see what happens. I keep wishing that someone would say something to me, I would love to be wanted by someone. I keep wishing someone would just step up and say they miss me or they make a point to see me because they didn't want to go another day with out seeing me. Now I need to be very clear that this only applies to people of interest otherwise it's creepy! I keep wishing I was the one they would choose, I wish I was the one they wanted. I deserve to be the only one not one of many. I am not a multiple choice person I am an only choice in the end. For me I crave the one who will do all the cute things to get me and then once he has me he won't stop doing things to keep me with him. I would be willing to bet that I am not the only woman around who wants a guy to step up and be a gentleman and not be afraid to show interest in me. As much as I encourage others to say something because life is to short I still wish I would be able to respond to someone instead of being the one to say something to them. XOXO life here's to 11:11 wishes and shooting stars bringing the magic of our wishes to real life!!!
This is to all my perfectly imperfect ladies out there:
Don't cry for the guy who walked away, he made space in your life for the right one to come in. Wear your scars like diamonds, because it made you stronger than you were before. Look for the lesson in things instead of dwelling on the bad. Even in the darkest time there are lessons we can take from it. Look at all the frogs you had to kiss on the way to finding your prince as what not to do in the future! Someday someone will come into your life and he won't let you go ever, he will see all your imperfections and love them anyhow. Look for the one who wants to know how your day was and cares if you are sad. Wait for the one who tells you good night if he isn't there with you. I keep hoping to find the man who will dance with me in the rain and not let me push him away when I get scared. Someone who can make moments feel like it is straight out of a movie and not a horror film haha! Guys I know you are reading this too so take notes: Be consistent with the broken girls, practice patience and never forget the power of a cute compliment she will remember it forever trust me! It can be a little harder to be with someone who is perfectly imperfect but if you take the time to get her to drop her guard you will find a love that you couldn't even begin to imagine. Best part of a woman like that, she might try to push you away but if you find a creative way to get her to relax she will never stray because she will appreciate your efforts and you as a person far more than other women. Here's to 11:11 wishes, shooting stars and the hope that love finds us all!!! XOXO life bring on the amazing magic!!! I hear all the time that I need to be more open to people. I have 1 huge question, How the hell do you know when it's ok to be open to people? I meet people all the time and I trust my gut now more than ever,however I have been wrong in the past about who I can be even slightly open to. I get it that you can't really pick who you like and who you end up having feelings for. I can openly admit that I am scared as heck to be hurt on the flip side i also know that if I ever want to be with someone again I need to let it happen instead of fighting it. UGH!!! I wish there was a way for me to know that it's real and not just a game. So seriously is there a way to know if it is genuine or if it is just a weird game to see if someone can get the girl who can shut down emotions at the drop of a hat to open up. Or is it all a leap of faith that the right person will catch me if I let myself fall unlike the others before who just watched me fall with no intention of catching me. Why can't this just be easy?????
XOXO Life bring on the good stuff!! |
AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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