I had the most interesting tarot card reading yesterday and I feel like I need to share it. I am always excited to see what fate has in store for me but what I was told made me realize just how far I have come in the last 3 years and how I am not the same person but there is still one thing I need to work on. He told me that I need to stop trying to figure out matters of the heart and just go with it. Well my friends that requires trust to which I have little, its my biggest flaw if you will. The cards reviled the destruction of the old me and my world and how I have over come the pain and heart break for the most part but now the challenge is for me to trust that someone won't hurt me. I get it that everyone will hurt you at some point I just have to breathe and trust that I will choose to trust someone who won't try to destroy me again. So I have issued a challenge for people to join me on this journey. Take a deep breath and choose something that is scary find a way to approach it to over come your fear or at least come to the point where you realize it might be scary but it's not that bad. Dip your toes in the water of fear if you will it's not always filled with piranhas, it's ok to be scared but if it keeps you from your future it is worth a shot!
0 Comments
There are some points in our lives when we need to just relax and let things happen the way they should how they should even if it feels like it will kill us. When you can look at someone and the world melts away and all you want is to just be around them because they seem to make your world just a little better that is a gift. Trying to relax and let that happen - is easier said than done! Just to feel their touch is magic and the way they can look at you can cause a butterfly war in your tummy. It's best to breathe and just go with it rather than try to make things happen faster. Enjoy each moment as it happens and soak in all the wonderful feelings, each day we live is a gift that not everyone can enjoy along with the moments that stand the test of time. Its best to relax especially when your head is screaming please just ask me out already I want time alone with you so I don't have to share you ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Ok I admit it I feel selfish for feeling that way but at this point I will take any of the moments I can get my hands on as long as I can. If only he knew how he makes me feel, maybe someday I can pull myself together and say it out loud.....I am totally babbling right now ha woops!
I had some time to think a bit more at work tonight and I discovered something. I want and have always wanted someone I care about to just claim me, say I am his and mean it. I long to feel protected while still able to breathe, I would love to find someone who wants to make me feel safe. I want to find someone who knows I can do it all myself but won't let me. I need someone who can tell me to sit down because he has it covered. I am so busy taking care of everyone and everything all the time it would be amazing to have someone do that for me. I know its possible because I get a glimpse every once in a while and I get instantly spoiled by it because it is something I really do want in my life. Deep down I starting to lose faith that someone will look at me and want to spend the rest of our lives waking up to each other. Sucks even more when you know who you want and you then question if they want you... That's life though I guess, always a mystery we are hoping to solve, now if I can figure out why I am so freaking undateable that would be super....
Every once in a while I get a chance to stop and think about life. I am always so proud of how far I have come and I am excited for what the future has in store for me. But there is always that little part that could make a great life just a little more amazing and that is love. Someday I hope to have someone tell his friends that I am his. Someday I hope to have his arms around me and he will never let go. Someday the kiss that takes my breath away will happen again. Someday maybe I will be able to wake up next to the one who can make me smile just by looking at me. Until that day I will remain open to the idea and hopeful even when I want to give up.
|
AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
Categories |