I sometimes wonder if the scariest decision is to fall for someone or keep your wall up longer. I can see both sides of the coin that's where the questions come into play. If you keep the wall up they might think you are not into them and then they will walk away. If you let your wall come down the biggest question - the one that scares me the most is..... If you let your wall down and you let yourself fall will they be there to catch you? You can pray and hope they do but it would feel a lot safer to do that if you knew for sure they want you too.... UGH!!!!! Why can't things just be simple like back in the day passing notes in class. I know I should just breathe and trust the process but that is always easier said than done. Maybe someday sooner than later he will look at me and see everything he has ever wanted and know that he wants me forever, but until then him walking up to me brushing my hair away from my face and kissing me would work fantastic!
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I have found from time to time its best to step back and recenter yourself take a deep breath and look forward to the blessings that you have still to come. I have some chakra stones and its been a while since I have slept with them in my pillow so last night I wrote my intentions and added that and the stones to my pillow, I need to do that more often I feel so centered today! Life can get crazy so its really a gift to me to step back and look at the big picture. I love seeing how far I have some and I am so ready to keep going on my journey towards my own destiny. My path might not be perfect but its mine and I choose to love it all the struggles have made me strong and all the good stuff reminds me that everything I could ever wish for is out there waiting for me and it will come at the right time for all the right reasons even if the reason is for me to learn again..... Head up shoulders back life happens and I don't want to miss a thing!
I love to be reminded once in a while of the person who I used to be so that way I know how far I have come on my journey. I no longer back down when someone comes after me I turn and have my claws out when I have to fight now. I used to be very submissive and a doormat until the day I woke up and figured out that I didn't want my kids to live like that. I will not start fights with anyone however I will also not back down when its time to fight. Lectures about why my marriage failed by the person who has to this day still no understanding of why I divorced him make me laugh. You can only tell people so many times in so many ways why you are unhappy and what can be done before its time to just walk away. Denial is not just a river in Egypt I guess ahahaaaa!! I learned from my mistakes and I know what I want and I refuse to settle ever again. I need to trust that the right person at the right time will walk up to me and show me what I have been looking for in a partner and compliment my life not complicate it. No one is perfect and I don't want perfect I want real and consistent with a little simple romance to boot. My kids are my life but they will not be around forever so if that someone comes into my life they will get the best of me not just the rest of me. I move heaven and earth for those I care about, the ones who try to be mean and make threats better be ready for me and bring an army cause they will need it. There really are 2 sides to me - the nice one and the side you never want to meet. Don't mess with my kids, family or my money and we are good - disrupt my world and I
My wish for everyone hoping to find the special person in their life is that you never just settle for what's convenient. I am not saying keep looking when you are with someone but what I am saying is that maybe if we waited for the person who makes us smile for no reason and can make us feel everything you have ever wanted to feel the whole process might be a bit better. Right now I see tons of people who are just not truly happy and that sucks. I wish all the time for people to be happy especially the people who I care about. Love is not hard but we make it hard by not being open to it or honest with ourselves on a daily basis. I know after years of being with someone who was not the right person for me that its ok to wait there is no hurry and I pray and wish daily that when the time is right the person will come into my life and never want to leave. I want to be with someone who will be able to just look at me and make the world melt away, it happens this much I know. So to all the people out there looking for love in all the wrong places, never give up it will happen when it's supposed to and most likely it will be when you least expect it ( I hope haha )
I have been doing a lot of thinking and even more chatting with people about love. It never ceases to amaze me how something so simple can be so incredibly complex. Some say if its right it will be easy and others say if its easy how can it be right. Better yet, right person wrong time or wrong person right time - mind spinning how do you know??? Beeeeewwwww mind blown ahhhh right!!! I meet many people all the time and I hear a few of the same things over and over and see relationships end because they stop doing all the little things they did to get the person in the first time. I have also heard a lot of people have to wait years to be with someone because they didn't say something to them at the time. Let's make it simple, if you like someone tell them, if you miss them find them somehow we have enough technology to do it, if you want to be with them make it happen and if you want to keep them do something they will never forget - little effort goes a long way! Don't always be the one to start a conversation it goes both ways but on the same hand don't walk away from someone you can't stop thinking about they are in your head for a reason! But most of all just remember to tell yourself and your person of interest I could be so good at loving you.........
The more I think about it the more I think its funny that people give me crap for being single. I think its's probably one of the smartest things I have ever done actually. I have no problem waiting for someone who sparks my interest, it's rare that someone can get and keep my attention but when it happens I adore it. I have to remind myself that someone somewhere at some time will see what others missed. I wish more people would be not picky but patient. I also know that opportunities don't last forever but if something is supposed to happen it will and you can't push it or rush it either. Anyone in the same position will understand what I am saying. I think its more important to seek the one who compliments your life and not complicate it, someone who can make you smile for no reason and a huge bonus would be hugs from behind with neck kisses that make you giggle. Someone who will make you feel unstoppable and just all around crave to be connected with that person more often that not even if its not in person.
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AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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