I have been sitting here wracking my brain trying to figure out why people would be so quick to take their clothes off before they let down their guard to someone emotionally. I am choosing to look at things a bit differently when people get very forward with me from now on, I choose to appreciate the honesty that they show me and it is then my choice if I would like to pursue that option or if it is just not for me and what I want. I just wish that when people are blunt about wanting physical relationships if you knew where you stood longer than an orgasim. It would be great to be able to make an informed decision before letting someone get close like that. I think that if you only want 1 thing from someone you should be upfront, don't say you are not ready for a relationship when the truth is that you are just not with that particular person.
1) Maybe the other person is very busy and the time spent together is limited so they are trying to speed it up if you will. 2) They are just not that into you but want to "kick the tires" with you so to speak aka hit and run 3) They have no intention of committing to you emotionally but want the physical connection with someone 4) Perhaps they are not sure how to take things to a higher level with you and they just say it bluntly
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Ok the big question of the night is why is it that we are good enough to secretly have sex with but not always good enough to be taken out on a real date? I think some people are either 1) Lazy daters or 2) Hiding us from someone they "care about" 3) Embarrassed by us 4) Intimidated…. I would really like to know how and why it became acceptable to just have a hook up with someone with out taking the time to get to know the other person at all first. I have heard this from so many people and yet the answer is still a mystery. Now if we stand up for ourselves we are either a bitch or a prude in the situation, when in reality we are just asking for respect and to be treated like a lady. Just remember people lady in the streets but a freak in the bed only comes out when you are nicer to us in public and prepared for us when the door closes. So yes women over the age of 35 may have the sex drive of a teenage boy but we also have earned the right to be treated well to, a little effort can go a long way. The best way to make yourself stand out and get the panties to drop faster is to open the doors, text us randomly cute things and pay attention during the stupid love movies and repeat little things like moving the hair away from our face when you go to kiss us.
Life is so much less stressful when you really expect nothing from people. That way if they decide to call, text, message or talk to you there is always an element of surprise in a good way. This is the easiest way to eliminate any disappointment that can happen when you are in a relationship, doing business or just hanging out with friends. I am not saying never hope for more but just keep it to a minimum when you do. Approach things with no pressure and an open mind. Life becomes a lot easier and people seem less douche like when you do this. I am not saying accept any disrespect in anyway shape or form just saying don't expect to hear from someone that way you get excited when you do if you do and if you don't well then call it a day and keep on keeping on!!! Live one day at a time and remember people get busy and it doesn't mean they don't think about you or care about you, sometimes they need to care about themselves first don't take it personal just think of it as they are getting ready for the future! Its really a great thing who would want people in their lives who are a hot mess anyhow, unless you are into train wreck people that it is, everyone has their thing I guess ;)
At one point a few years ago I looked in the mirror and saw someone I didn't know staring back at me ( no it wasn't a ghost ). I had become someone I didn't recognize and that day started my journey to me. The first thing I did was take back control of my body and got myself on track working out and getting healthy. The next step was a bit harder, I had to figure out what I wanted from life and when the answer came it was a hard one to accept. I was not happy and I had not been for a long time so the step I had to take was to end my 11 year marriage and move on with my life so in 2011 I took a leap of faith when the right time showed up and I have not looked back since. I sold my wedding ring to pay for the divorce myself and I filed it. Next on the to do list was to figure out who I was and what I had to do to get her back, I had to like myself again and that was no easy task. I wrote down everything I wanted from life; happiness, stability, try new things, learn new things, meet new people and just live life instead of just existing. The world became a better place and colors were brighter, people nicer, life was just better! I found myself and I like her, she bows to no one and doesn't care what people think about her at all. I choose to live life to the fullest and wait for love to find me when its ready. I have enough self esteem now to not be a play toy for someone and I am better than just an option. The right person will kiss me in the rain, dance with me in the snow and love me with no conditions, they will be proud to tell people about me and never make me feel like a secret. The right person exists and he will love my child like ways to wish on falling stars and wish at 11:11 and he will know that a teddy bear and steal my heart and roses make me smile and nothing says I love you more than the look that can take my breath away, money can't buy me only true effort can win me forever!
We meet people everyday, some good some bad but everyone has their purpose in our lives. Some we meet to teach us things and others we meet because they need to learn something from us. How many times has the student become the teacher? When I meet people I love to learn about them and ask them questions but in the rare case they have that something special that makes me smile when they are not around me and I know that by the way I think about them when they are not around. Its even more rare when you can hear your heart say to you if we fall for them it could hurt if they don't catch us. More times than not I have had the internal battle of if I let myself fall for this person I would never be the same and if they go away it could break my heart pretty badly. And in 1 case you can find love so strong that you wish them nothing but happiness and joy with or without you and if you can see they are not happy it hurts you deeply. How can someone look into your eyes and you see the look you have been longing for and the feeling of pure happiness that you secretly desire and its obvious to others around you that there is something more than just friends but they can still walk away. How can arms that felt like home go away. How can someone make you feel so right and just ignore it. I want the young love even when I am old, I want the look that says I love you with out words being needed. I want it all but it has to be from the right person or it won't last. Once you feel the way you have always wanted to feel its hard to not dream of it on a daily basis and crave it forever.
We all feel lost from time to time but that is when we need to dig deep and remember that it is part of our journey. In some cases we feel alone even in a room full of people or worse when we are in a relationship with the wrong person. Never let feeling lost or alone drive you into the arms of someone you shouldn't be with or a situation that will be bad for you long term. When I feel lost I wish for someone to just be with me and curl up with me. I don't have that person in my life right now so when I feel lost it tends to hit me a bit harder just like when things happen and I could really use the extra reassurance from someone special in my life. My friends and family are amazing but it still feels like I am missing that one piece. I am great alone and I am happy too but it would be amazing to feel wanted, loved and protected by someone else. Just because I am feeling lost from time to time also doesn't mean that I am desperate in anyway shape or form so I wish the few people who I have chose to spend time with know just how rare it is that I do that. To think of it I have only woke up next to 2 men in the 2 years that I have been single. Maybe I am to guarded or perhaps I am just to picky but I know what I want and I am not willing to settle for less than that. If I don't see something I am looking for in someones eyes I won;
I know that I am lovable despite what some people say and I know there is someone out there who is wishing for me too. Maybe just maybe there is someone who wishes on the same star I do and someone who makes silly wishes at 11:11 everyday. Maybe there is someone out there who can't say no to a hurt or lonely animal. Maybe there is someone out there who will think I am the most wonderful person in the world. Maybe someday love will come to my door. I think it's interesting that when I am in a place that I don't need someone but I would like them with me there is no one here. I am to amazing for me to have to beg for attention or time with someone so I just trust when the time is right things will happen just as they should but until that day I
Quiet rooms can be scary or lonely but not for me, my quiets moments are filled with thoughts of life, love and happiness. When I think of life I am grateful for all that I have and I am especially grateful for my friends and family who have my back when I need them. When I think of love I dream of the day I feel his arms around me and feeling the love from the inside out as he whispers in my ear that he thinks I am beautiful and wants to spend the rest of our lives making up for the time it took us to find each other. When I think of happiness I think about where I was where I am at and where I am going and I know that this is my life and I can make it whatever I want to!! Yes there are little things that make me smile randomly, when I think of him it makes me smile and sometimes makes me giggle from the memories. I am so grateful for everyone who has come into my life and added to my life adventure. Don't be sad if you can't be with the person who secretly makes you smile just be happy that you have the memories to smile about. I am excited to wake up every morning always waiting for the next adventure to begin and the gift of a brand new day to
The purpose of walls are to protect something and keep it safe from harm. We live in shelter with walls an even our heart has walls. Sometimes we need to build a wall around our heart to keep it safe from further harm. Let them in they say, give people a chance they say. For what to find out that yet again it sucks to let your guard down for a second have a moment of weakness and think for a second maybe this person cares about me. No thank you, I am good now. I have been hurt more times than I can count and really don't care to have it happen again, ever. No more pretty words and fake smiles followed by empty promises for a future. No more thinking about what it would be like to wake up next to someone anymore. None of it, I don't need it and I don't want it. I may be a hopeless romantic waiting for someone to really mean what they say to me but I am not naive enough to believe every word that is being shoveled out. The level of difficulty to get to me just got a little higher and may seem impossible to the wrong person to which I say GOOD let's keep it that way. If I appear unattainable then I probably am at this point. I want someone who isn't afraid to show me real effort not just talk a good game. I want someone who wants me for me and someone who won't have to hide me either. I have manners, I am well spoken and easy to get along with, I am motivated and extremely loyal to the person who is loyal to me so it's not like I have weird habits that need to be hidden and I certain am not hideous to look at so that shouldn't be an issue either. Ugh really at this point I just give up on love because I really feel like love has given up on me.........
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AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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