When love comes knocking will you answer the door? Will you even know someone is there? Have you looked at your life and figured out what you want and what you don't want from yourself and others? Questions with questions make us dig deeper into ourselves to find the answers. Timing is everything this is true so until it happens and you know for sure, smile through the hurt, laugh through the pain, dance through the heartbreak because no storm lasts forever! Hopeless romantics keep hope alive - its not a bad thing even when all seems lost. So if you find yourself loving someone that does not love you back be happy for them when they find someone to love because real love is about wanting that person to be truly happy in life not just with you.....
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We are all guilty of this from time to time, myself included. We say things to people sometimes to make them feel better and sometimes we say things and we just can't make it happen at that time. Many times it is all about timing rather than want or not wanting to do something. We can want to see someone so badly it hurts but sometimes you have to choose priorities over what you want which is why being an adult sucks sometimes. Money gets tight, kids need things or more importantly children need our time and attention or in many cases we need to work. All are valid reasons why making decisions are challenging and not always fun and yes feelings get hurt when things can't happen when we want them to but that is where patience is a virtue. Not saying being patient is fun or easy but it is necessary to achieve our goals of personal and financial growth and ultimately success. In the end the right things happen at the right times for all the right reasons and we need to remember that just because it doesn't happen now doesn't mean it won't it just means its not the right time for the greater plan of our lives to be shown to us.
Dear Tracy from the past,
I want to thank you for showing me weakness because now I know how to be strong. For showing me that not every part of you has to be hidden forever and the best parts survive the darkest nights. Thank you for never giving up hope and the belief that there is more to life than just waking up everyday that being alive is amazing everyday. The hopeless romantic little girl will never die no matter how many people say its stupid or that fairy tails don't exist when I have seen it for myself. Thank you for the pain because the pain and tears you shed have taught me so much. Thank you for standing up for yourself and your children the day you said enough. No one will ever know everything that happened but lots of people will judge - let them judge because clearly they see things in me that they lack themselves, confident people don't need to try and bring others down. Some day some one special will come into my life and he will never leave and at that point he will be my king and I his queen. Until that day comes I promise to continue to grow as a person and chase all my silly dreams because everything I have ever wanted makes life magical! Sincerely, The best Tracy ever and I keep getting better no matter what life thr As I was driving today I was thinking about a few things not even related to dating but to heart break rather. If you are hauling stuff for someone who just broke it off with their significant other and the bed of the truck has toys from kids involved in the breakup you haul that stuff just a little more carefully than you normally would because kids have enough to be upset about they don't need to have broken toys too. And the next thing that I thought about was the fact that everyone says when you go through a break up you should pray and get yourself right, I agree with that however if you go to a church and they make you feel like crap that is not nor ever will be God letting you down that is all on the church's shoulder. Breakups are hard enough but when people make you feel like crap because you decided to stand up for yourself and take your life back that is uncalled for. Things happen all the time and no one is better than anyone else and I find it truly gross when people hide from the facts and say it was the devils work - my response to that was what happened to get the person to the point of ending it... Might want to be careful who you judge because the last time I checked we were not put on this earth to judge others but to help them and ourselves become the best people we can be. Less time judging more time loving and the world may be a better place. Keep an open mind without having to worry about your brain falling out I promise it will stay put and it may even like some things you come across if you have an open mind and an open heart!!!
Some days I wonder if I will ever find the one. I wonder what it would feel like to look at someone and never have to question if he loves me or if I am the only one in his heart. What would it be like to wake up in the morning next to someone who adores me and thinks I am beautiful when I look like a hot mess. Would I even know how to act if I didn't have to fight for attention? I wonder if its out there for me or if it's even possible. I have not lost faith that it can happen but I question sometimes if its possible for it to happen to me. What would it feel like to look at someone years from now and still feel the love from just a look...... Its a beautiful idea that I hope can one day come true!
Once upon a time there was a girl who like a guy a lot and one day he decided to ignore her. BAD MOVE! You see this girl was actually a princess who had may suitors asking for her attention and yet the one person shwe wanted thought it was ok to not talk to her for days at a time thinking he would be able to do what he wanted when he wanted to with who he wanted to and she was supposed to wait. Funny thing about that is that she got tired of feeling like she was second place all the time and got tired of waiting so she let other people show her that they cared for her. Eventually there may be someone who will dance with her in the rain or under the stars , give her a teddy bear or a rose and steal her heart forever and he will be left standing there seeing how good she looks in love with someone else instead of seeing how beautiful she was when she looked at him like he was the only person in the world. Moral of the story if you ignore her be ready to lose her at some point. So if you wish she would go away be ready for that to happen if you are not ready don't let it happen.
When I was younger I could never understand why my little sister got a ton of attention and I was in the background all the time. My mom told me it was the difference between pretty and beautiful. Pretty is when you are cute on the outside and people are attracted to that but beautiful is when you are great on the inside and not everyone can see it until they get close enough to me to see it for themselves. Maybe that is why when people say things about my appearance I am always quick to think they are full of it. But its when someone says I am beautiful and looks at me like they mean it that I believe them. Its so rare that I believe people about that. Words mean little but actions mean the world when people doubt what is being said no matter the subject. I want to find someone that makes me feel beautiful even when I am not just by looking at me - its happened before so I know it can happen I just want that forever.
I am quickly learning that I try to be to many things all at the same time. Great mom, good friend, business woman and hoping to someday be with someone again. I feel like the right person would understand the many sides of me and be ok with it but I also know that I do stretch myself thin sometimes and I do need to make decisions that not everyone is a fan of but I can't please everyone can I? I would hope that of all the things I am that a great mom is the top thing that I am. My kids are my world and they deserve the best from me at all times. I would love to be able to show them a great relationship on a daily basis but only time will tell evidently there is something I still have to do before love will come knocking. Love can wait my kids come first but I am still a woman and I need to remember that too and not forget to take care of myself and still get out there and meet new people when I can. Fate has a funny way of bringing people into our lives and the timing is always perfect we just have to be open to it. Some day someone will want me and only me this much I know the when is the only thing I don't know but I have to trust that there is a plan in place and I need to keep my eyes open to things that come up so I don't miss something
We all have good days and bad ones some hide them better than others. I have learned to smile when it hurts and help others when I can't help myself. Some days I just stay busy to keep my mind busy and other days it doesn't work out that well. To feel wanted for a moment is great but I want more now - I want to be wanted all the time not just from time to time. I am better than second place or just an option. I am tired of feeling not good enough when I know I am. Some day someone will see me for who and what I truly am. Call me all the names you want if you must but it won't break me or change me. Yes I am stubborn and independent and no it's not easy to be with me because I am busy but the right person would fit perfectly and be patient with me. I deserve the best and so does the man who will become my king - I am working on becoming the best me I can be and I hope that someday he will see me and make me his queen forever......
I hear it all the time - "Oh I am different than the others" yeah no kidding ya are. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I have heard people say oh the women who say they are all the same are jaded.. Think about it - do you have any idea the ass hats we wade through on a daily basis? I am not saying all women are normal because that is crap how ever what reaction do guys seriously think we are going to give them when they call us a wrong name or disappear for a few days suddenly or if the have a horrid opening line like " Do you use Benwa Balls" Really guys if you are looking for meat go to a butcher shop. Everyone complains that there are no more people with manners - try approaching others with manners more often. Try being polite for once. How about just being yourself instead of faking things. Look we are adults and dating is interesting but don't go into the first meeting expecting sex if it happens it happens however I will let you in on a secret we will be more interested if we wait and get to know each other a bit better with our clothes on than off. If you think that disappearing is a great way to keep us interested you are wrong there are a ton of men out there who would be willing to take your place so yes if you walk away with no goodbye we may spend time with someone else just like I am sure than when guys walk away there is probably someone else with them as well. Here it is - if you want to be with someone say something limit the games and just come out with it - if you need to move slow thats great just don't disappear and leave us hanging. More times that not we are just as nervous as you are and we would be great with going slow too!
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AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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