What if we spent time together. What if you looked at me the way you have before. What if time stood still like it did when you held me before. What if you loved me..... Life is full of uncertainties all the time, we can choose to worry about it or we can be brave and let it go so we can see the bigger plan that lies before us. What if I never saw him again would he miss me. What if he never knew how I feel about him. What if he doesn't love me, what if he doesn't care. Just let it go and breathe and the answers will come when and if they will come. It's just hard to wait to see if the answers will come. There are those nights when questions give birth to more questions and you are either afraid to ask the question, you can't or you don't know how... good luck sleeping with that going on right! Some of the greatest gifts are unanswered prayers its just hard to see them as a gift until the answer comes in a different form but I guess that means its actually answered
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All I have ever wanted was for someone to want me for me. I wished for someone to look at me and see forever not for now. I wanted someone to look at me for what I bring to the table and how I make them feel. I wished and wished for someone to just love me. It has gotten me into bad things like being left at the hospital after having baby #4 and having people not really want me but I guess it is my lesson to learn right. I keep trying to reach out to the people who say they care and yet make no effort to show me anything. Am I that hard to love am I that hard to be around, funny that my friends don't think so.... I don't need someone in my face 24/7 right now but it would be nice to be at least wanted by someone. Maybe someone somewhere will see me and want me - I guess it has only been 2 years, funny that they say that your looks attract them but your personality keeps them.... Guess not many people are looking for a driven, intelligent, excited for life woman who would love to find someone to grow old with forever. I will never lose faith that he is out there but some days it is harder than others to think he is waiting for me. In the end all I can do is be the best me I can and keep working hard and being a great person no matter what!!!!! To those who didn't think I was enough , sorry, to those who thought I didn't mean what I said when I said it just know that I did mean it... Hey life its game on bring it on ( just the good though the bad can stay away )
Only time will tell when things fall into place. You can't force it you can't rush it even when you want to. Letting go and allowing things to fall into place is a difficult thing to do in many cases. Life is a beautiful journey that we are all on learning things along the way. We are all here for a reason and somedays you wonder what the reason behind heartache is or even unexpected joy. The best things are those that you do not see coming at all, they are the moments that are engrained into your mind forever. Simple things can change your life and you won't even know it in some cases until after the face. A smile, a look, a touch from someone you care about those are the moments that we long for long after they are over. When someone can look at you and with out words know how you feel that is a connection that you can't deny. Its amazing how a simple text from someone can really change how you feel and it can give you renewed hope for something you thought was lost or it can just make you smile like an idiot even when there is no outward reason for it that others can see. Keep those moments close to your heart and think about them when the days get crazy and you are a little down. Keep the good and release the bad and let the plan unflo
Dear No One,
If you think I won't listen, try me. If you think I won't follow you, try me. If you think I won't dance with you, try me. If you think I won't fall for you, try me. If you think once you have my heart I won't wait for you, think again. If you think ignoring me is a good idea, it's not because unlike other women I am not afraid to walk away. If you think playing with my heart is a good idea, think again. If you want me try me, if you want to hurt me keep it moving. Don't tell me you love me to see what you can get from me. Don't tell me you love me if you don't mean it. Don't tell me I am beautiful and make me believe it if you are not going to stay. Please remember I am not like other women, once I love you I will love you forever even if you are not by my side. If I tell you that other men will never make me happy because they are not you please don't take it lightly because that is the real soul bearing truth, they are not you and they will never be you. Others may come and go if you choose to not choose me but there will always be a place in my heart for you forever so if you choose to come find me at some point please know that the spot in my heart will always belong to you... So if you think I won't love you forever, try me becasu Dear Love,
Its been some time now since you and I have danced together. I want you to know that I am so ready for you more now than I ever have been in the past. I have grown as a person and I am in the place where i think that I would be an amazing partner for the right person for me. I adore the beginning of love but I long for the years passing by and still having the same hand to hold that was created to fit mine perfectly. I would love to dance with the same person in the kitchen for the rest of my life when the time is right. I would spend my days building the relationship stronger and the nights making him sleep with a smile on his face. To the man that my future holds, I will be the most faithful person who will support you in your dreams and aspirations all I ask is that you do the same for me. Love me when I don't deserve it because thats when I need it the most and the only thing I will do is make you wonder why it took so long for us to find each other in this crazy world. Maybe someday he will miss me. Maybe someday he will be afraid to lose me. Maybe someday he will wonder if I miss him to. Maybe someday he will want me and only me. Maybe someday I will be enough for him as he could be for me. Maybe someday he will look at me and say he loves me. Maybe someday he will mean it. Maybe someday I will know that he wants to wake up to me every morning. Maybe someday he will look at me and see our future together is far better than a life apart. Maybe someday he will see I am there for him with whatever he needs. Maybe someday..... But then again maybe someday I will be done waiting for someday to come and I will just walk away with no goodbye because there is nothing good in goodbye. And maybe someday I will wake up and realize that the truth is I am not that girl who someone will fall for. I am not the girl that gets the fairy tail ending but I fall asleep every night wishing to be her when I wake up. The best I can do is be me and wait for the someday when someone sees forever in my eyes and doesn't want to be without me and most certainly doesn't want anyone else to have a chance ever again. For now I will not beg, will not force anything and I most certainly will never settle for less than what I want ever again......
We have all been there, we like someone and we think hope and pray that they like us too. Until that is when you are always having to try and get their attention, you text they don't text back for hours even when their phone is always near by or you message them and they look at it and have no reply.... Yeah that sucks and we have all been there! There are a few reasons why this happens and I wish to share them with you now!!!
1) Their hand suddenly cramped up and they can't function 2) The house is on fire 3) Their phone broke 4) Computer crashed 5) They passed out because they were so excited to hear from you 6) They are just not that into you 7) The are driving to come see you to surprise you with a huge gift ( not likely but hey I had to try ) 8) They are training lions 9) They are rescuing a kitten from a tree 10) They got excited and dropped their phone in the toilet when you text or called them 11) They are tutoring young children 12) Their dog ran away 13) They are doing yoga 14) A cat peed on the These are all great reasons why but in more cases than not coming to terms with the fact that #6 is true sucks. Stay strong and remember that someone who really wants to see you will make it happen one way or another, if distance is an issue there is always Skype!!! Ahhh behold the age old single persons question in the quest for love, "Why not me?" That is a great question isn't it!!! I ask that question myself somedays to. If you take care of your body and you make your own money and if you have kids take care of them to with a great personality to boot whats the deal?? Maybe you are scary because you don't NEED someone you WANT them which means they will have to keep up the dating phase and keep things fresh vs the girls who are needy, to bad guys say how annoying that is when they are clingy and yet those girls always seem to have someone they are dating or at least in drama with! Hmm weird right, if you don't need someone but want to find someone to compliment you life you are scary but if you are needy its easier to date them. Which makes me think that perhaps you don't need to do anything new once you have a needy girl and you can do what you want once you have her on the hook, sad really because the independent women offer a lot and we don't want to drain your wallet we just want your heart and a little bit of your time. Busy schedule SO WHAT we are busy too, the truth is if someone wants it to work you can make it work! But in the mean time try new things and live your life, don't wait for someone to come and show you new things make your own memories and re
There are those people who thrive on drama and almost need it in a weird way. For a long time people said I had drama, and you know what they are right. To bad I was not the one causing it. I think people forget to take a step back and look at the big picture and see who is happy in their life and who is not, I promise if you do you can easily follow the drama trail. We all go through our own personal hell some just enjoy the stay more than others. There are people who want to make things better an move on as fast as possible to get to the good stuff an be happy, I am proud to be one of those people. I hate fighting, I don't like being worried about things that I can not change. I like being happy and now that I am free or closer to it I love life everyday. It is a beautiful adventure there are however some people who try and mess up my happiness with their petty stupid pointless fights an when they are done with the insults an rumors they are forced to say I was right anyhow. In the end the most important thing is to be happy if you are not happy take steps to make it better, sometimes the smallest steps make the biggest difference. If you are in a relationship and it ends let it end, if you have kids parent the kids but leave the other person alone! No more controlling their lives, calling them crazy because they will not buy into your stupid fights and for the love of all that is good STOP BASHING THE OTHER PARENT TO THE KIDS!!!!!!!!! If you are remarried FOCUS ON YOUR NEW SPOUSE and leave the one who divorced you alone - its OVER!!! If you get remarried and you can't leave the other person alone you are living a lie and cheating you new spouse out of real happiness and you are just farting rainbows to bad the truth comes out in the end and more people will get hurt but the actions of people not willing to truly move on. Ok I am off my soapbox for now :) Lets summarize I divorced him for several reasons now GO AWAY yes we have to parent but the control has to stop and sadly the new wife has NO idea who she married... yet
Its ok from time to time when things get crazy to take a step back and breathe.. I always find it fascinating who will come looking for you and who will forget about you. If they come looking for you they care if they forget well.... Some times its hard to stare the truth in the face and reality sometimes sucks! If someone says they care but they can go long periods of time with out talking to you then maybe just maybe they don't care quite as much as they say. In some cases yes they are busy and life gets crazy and time flies by, but more times than not the answer is they are just not that into you. I know that when things get crazy we want someone there by our side and sometimes it feels like you are alone but I promise you are never alone you always have someone you just have to be open to them. I sometimes wonder if I will ever find someone who would be willing to be with me and the chaos that seems to follow me half the time but then I remember that I only have 10years left having to deal with my ex and after that his opinion no longer matters and all of his control that is left is gone for good. I am strong enough to know that someone somewhere will love me again and until that person is in my life for good I am ok being single as long as I have amazing friends and family surrounding me. XOXO to all that have my back and to those who wait for the storm to pass - KISS MY ASS and have a nice day!
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AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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