I watched a video last night and she said something powerful on it. She said when people found out about her abuse they would ask why didn't you leave earlier.. That IS the problem not asking how someone could do that but rather shame the victim instead. I have been told by many people I should have gotten a restraining order long before anything really bad happened why didn't I? To be honest I was really embarrassed and I was convinced it was my fault somehow. I worked to much or I should let him sleep more or I didn't make sure there was enough food at home for him. You name it I thought it. I wasn't enough, or I should have done something else or not said something or should have commented more on his posts on social media. Mind you I have 4 kids and a house so working is not an option I had to do it. I wasn't getting rent from him, he paid the cable bill 3 or 4 times and the rest was on me. I have had people tell me they lost respect for me because I allowed that to happen in my life..... Are you kidding me!!! First off if you think someone feeling like they have the right to say that to me tells me they could care less about anyone around them so forgive me for NOT losing any sleep over that opinion of me. You never know what is truly going on unless you are there and you see the dark side when no one else is looking. Not sleeping much because you are afraid he will "accidentally" hit you in your sleep is scary. The truth is until we can protect the person hurting by saying mean things to someone who is scared is just making it worse. No one is perfect but please understand if someone is in a situation like that they are scared and not sure how to calmly end the relationship. Please don't shame someone who is getting out of the situation, they have been through enough by the time they finally get out. And it is really funny how you can not hate the person who hurt you but hate what they did to you. In the end the person on the receiving end of the abuse will be left with the collateral damage left behind while the other person just moves onto the next person. I pray things will be different for the next person, I don't want someone to be afraid like I am. Please know that just because he didn't hit me doesn't make it any less damaging...
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AuthorThis blog is a random journal of both Tracy waiting for Mr. Right to show up and just great advice based a lot on what NOT to do while dating! Archives
August 2018
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